Conflict

My husband and I of course have regular moments dealing with conflict and, sense conflict is inevitable we have come up with some strategies to help us experience more moments of productive conflicts. One strategy that we use is called the “speaker-listener” technique. The “speaker-listener” technique is somewhat equitable to that of one’s experience at a drive thru restaurant. In a conversation or disagreement, one person speaks as the other is listening. When the speaker is finished, the listener must repeat what the speaker has said word for word, emulating the way fast food personnel repeats your order in the drive thru for clarification purposes. This method has been extremely beneficial in our marriage as well as our other working relationships. Another form of direct communication comes from a book that one can find the answer to anything, The Holy Bible. God documents some strategies to help deal with conflict in the most productive way. In the book of Matthew, God tells us if we have conflict with anyone we should first, go to that person to try and deal with the issue, if the first process does not work, then we are to bring that person before a crowd of 2 or 3 witnesses, and lastly if these two steps do not lead to resolution that one should bring that person before the church or council. These two techniques are ones that I use to manage my relationships. The utilization of these techniques encompasses the 3 R’s: respect, reflection and response. Incorporating these valuable techniques has proven beneficial for my life’s relationships and communicative skills and I hope that these practices will profit others also. Bible Gateway. (2012, July 27). Passage lookup, keyword search. Retrieved from http://www.biblegateway.com/ The Third Side. (n.d.). The third side. Retrieved from http://www.thirdside.org/

Who Am I as a Communicator?

In evaluating my communication styles, I strategically thought about the questions and answered them genuinely. In addition, I had one person with whom I communicate the most conduct the assessments also, my husband. Upon our completion of the verbal aggressiveness scale, I evaluated the responses and was surprised to discover that I rated myself more aggressive than that of my husband. When I rated myself, the score came to be 65 (moderate) but when my husband evaluated me my score came to be 52 (low). My mother in law always says, “Seldom do we see ourselves as others see us”, in this case, I find this statement to be totally true. I view myself as a person that is not afraid to deal with conflict and can tackle trying issues head on. Although, my husband views me as one that is more gentle with others and issues. Inevitably, I find this a breath of fresh air and a complement, I am often times too rough on myself and thus now can rest assure that is am growing in the area of verbal aggression.

Cultural Diversity in Communication

My communication seems to be primarily based upon the similarities I have with others. Nevertheless, there are some times when I feel that my communication suffers when communicating with people from cultures others than my own. I have discovered that even if my interest are the same as someone from another culture, they way in which those interest were supported and manifested differ from that of my own. For example, I love to sing and received the gift of singing from God, thus I utilized this gift in church, singing in choirs and on the praise team. Consequently, there are people from other cultures that sing also, but may not categorize their singing as a gift and may not sing for God or at church for that matter. This one example may seem shallow, but this class has enabled me to become proactive, preparing for effective communication between the children and families I will be servicing daily. Below, I have listed some strategies from effective communication, across cultural barriers: *”When something about a family’s practices really bother you, try to look at what they are doing through their eyes instead of your own” (Gonzales-Mena, 2010, p. 37). *”Try to withhold judgment long enough to gain a deeper understanding than first impressions allow” (Gonzales-Mena, 2010, p. 37). *”Don’t assume that doing things for children will make them grow up helpless and forever dependent” (Gonzales-Mena, 2010, p. 37). These important guidelines have given me the ability to reflect upon my own behaviors regarding culture and communication. I am utilizing these criteria presently as I go about my day to day activities, in hopes to train my mind to become more conscious communicator in the future. Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Television Show (Verbal/Non Verbal)

NO SOUND The show I decided to watch was ‘Trip Flip’ on the Travel channel. I assumed this was a new show because I had never heard of it before. Nevertheless, I watched the show with no sound in the beginning and observed that the show started off with one man and he walked around New Orleans ( I recognized New Orleans because I had been there many times) and he approached many different people/couples walking around the city. I could tell that the individuals he approached did not know him because they were giving off uncomfortable or unapproachable faces as we often do when someone we do not know is trying to get our attention or better yet, sell us something. He continually presses the people he draws near and begins to ignite a conversation, obviously wanting a desired answer from them. He uses lots of hand movements and makes complete eye contact with the people. His non-verbal skills appear to be engaging but I believe his verbal skills are lacking. After, approaching several different people, the gentleman approaches a couple as they are walking down the street holding hands. The couple stops but sticks close together to gain knowledge of what the man is saying. The couple continuously looks at the speaker and look at each other. The conversation continues with smiles and nodding of heads. I am beginning to deduce that the persuader had finally found someone(s) to buy into his gimmicks. The rest of the show is marked with fun and adventure in the great city of New Orleans. You can tell that the couple is beginning to trust this male stranger/persuader more and more as they take trips down the bayou to see alligators, take trips to museums and enjoy the fantastic night life of the French quarter. With all of these non-verbal cues, I am assuming that the host of this show seeks for people to trust him to take them on a vacation of a lifetime. SOUND Now gaining a chance to view the show with sound, I found that many of my assumptions were correct. My experiences also aided in my assumptions, being that I have family from New Orleans and that I have visited the area many times. Nevertheless, I originally thought that the host was trying to annoy or perhaps sell the people something. I later learned that the people he approached were not natives to the city and were in fact on some type of vacation, already. The host was giving the people an opportunity to upgrade their vacation and trust him to provide them with an experience of a lifetime, a chance to aid them in viewing the city they are vacationing in a vastly different way. There were lots of non-verbal communication prompts that led me to the essence of this show and its plot. I definitely think that my assumptions would have been more accurate had I watched a show that I have previously seen. Nevertheless, this was a great experience for me in that it shows how we rely on both non verbal and verbal communication to give us meaning